if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
