I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
