i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
