can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
