big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
