i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
