he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
