if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
