if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
