My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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