Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
