For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
This toilet bowl is my home.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
