It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
