We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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