Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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