question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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