Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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