I'm lost and stupid without you.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
