2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
