you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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