I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
