Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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