I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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