I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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