I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize