ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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