His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
