My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
