Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
