You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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