I wannas sexs uuuuu
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
