So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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