FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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