but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
