"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
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