I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize