Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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