I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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