I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
