It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
