i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
