I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
