in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
