Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
