He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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