Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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