Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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