So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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