dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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