No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
That reminds me...we need to get swords
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
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