i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
