I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
