so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
