I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
