my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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