a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
