I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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